Bittersweet Promises
by QuestionablyInsane
Summary: When Jasper comes across Alice in Seattle, she's cold and guarded, living a life of secrets and pain. Will he be able to break down her walls and find a way to save her from herself and her past? AH/AU.
1. A Never Ending Day

Hello :)

This is not my first Twilight piece of fiction but it is the first I've posted on this site in this category. I don't know quite why but I absolutely love the pairing of Alice and Jasper, maybe even more so than that of Edward and Bella, because I find them complex and intriguing together. Anyway, yeah, this is a multi-chapter AH/AU fic focusing on Alice and Jasper *though he's not in the first chapter :(*

So here's to hoping you guys like it and please review...I can take constructive critisism too :)

Gymnasticstar.

* * *

_'I looked straight into your golden eyes, thinking I was able to see into your mind and I trusted you._

_You promised you'd save me._

_You told me you'd take me away from the pathetic existence I called life._

_I gave you every last part of my soul._

_And I truly believed you would eventually save me,_

_Yet how could you do that when you needed someone to save you first'_

Thunder echoed in the distance as the rain continued to fall over the dark city of Seattle. The cold breeze ripped through the streets and brought with it an air of disheartenment for anyone who felt like smiling. I rarely felt like smiling anymore, my life was one big rush of work, home and yet more work.

Pulling my hood further over my hair I quickened my pace for the sooner I got home the sooner I could find some food. My stomach growled at the thought, I hadn't eaten since 2pm yesterday afternoon and even as I walked I began to doubt that there would even be food at home. It didn't occur to me to pop in and buy some food; I didn't have the money or the time or even the energy to do that.

I paused to cross the street and kept my eyes on the ground, making eye contact with anyone in this neighbourhood was pretty much an invite for them to kick your ass. When I finally reached the grubby, un-maintained building where I lived it took five minutes of fumbling around my bag to find my keys before I was into the dry.

"Shit…" I muttered to myself, staring into a bloody empty refrigerator as my stomach continued to grumble. I'd at least thought there might be an apple I'd forgotten about but there was absolutely nothing. I heard the rain pound against the bare windows and knew there was no way I was going back out in that weather just for food.

Instead I pulled my skimpy, old pyjamas on and climbed into my bed, shivering as there was no heating since I'd forgotten to pay the bills. Pulling the bedside drawer open I swallowed the handful of pills, I was in desperate need of a good night's sleep. One where I wouldn't wake up terrified in a cold sweat and refuse to go back to sleep. Flicking off the light I heard music come blaring down from upstairs and stuck my pillow over my head.

"Ali-baby, haven't you seen a good night's sleep?" my sleazy boss Harry grinned as I arrived the next day.

It was true. Despite the pills I'd had one of my worse reoccurring nightmares and it had rendered me unable to move for at least half an hour. By then there was no point in even trying to get back to sleep so I'd made myself the fantastic breakfast of a glass of water and then realised that not having paid the heating bill meant no warm shower. Then I found out I had no concealer left and that I needed to use a laundrette. All of those things had contributed to my daily get-up of a greasy ponytail, tracksuit and dark rings around my eyes.

"In the front Al, the bad weather seems to have made everyone thirsty for a warm cup of coffee" Harry said and I blushed, realising I'd been daydreaming again.

"Loving the uhh…motown look?" my co-worker Cassie commented as I pulled my apron over my head. Rolling my eyes I stifled a yawn, "Only clean clothes I had" I muttered and set about serving the first customers in what was most likely to be a very long day.

"I ordered a cinnamon latte….not a hot chocolate!" the woman in front of me complained, tapping her acrylic nails on the counter.

Taking the drink from her hand I stifled another yawn, "I'm sorry. Let me fix that for you," I sighed and then hurried off to get her the correct drink.

Trying to work in a demanding situation when you'd had barely two hours of sleep was a definite strain, but as usual, I was coping. I always found a way to cope, that was how my life was. Heck, no-one said that life was going to be easy, but did God really have a personnel vendetta against me or something?

"I wish you'd let me do something to your hair" Cassie sighed, reaching out for a lock of my jet-black mess.

"And I wish you'd leave it alone. I told you…I can't be bothered to style it every morning like you" I retorted, filing a jug with boiling milk as we talked.

"You have potential. All you need to do is work with the materials and canvas you've been given" Cassie shrugged.

I scoffed, "Where do you come up with this sort of crap? That sounded like a really bad make-over advert"

Cassie turned around in a huff and went off to serve a customer. I knew I'd offended her but she was the last thing on my mind to be honest.

"Here y'all go. Spend it wisely" Harry grinned as he handed us our pay packets at the end of the day. Eager to get out of his presence, Cassie and I thanked him and hurried out of the office into the cold, darkening streets.

"Fancy coming for a drink? There's a few of us going to a bar across town if you want?" Cassie asked, stashing the cash into her faux, knock-off handbag.

I shook my head, "No thanks, I'm super-tired" I lied. No matter how many times I declined Cassie's offer of friendship and night's out, she always took them good-heartedly. She never let them get her down and she was persistent, I knew it would only be a matter of days before she asked again.

Cassie shrugged at my choice, "Ok, but you should get out more Ali. You're young, you're hot, you're single. You need to enjoy yourself…you might find you like it"

I inwardly laughed at how wrong she was but with a fake smile and a faux-cheery wave I took off, beginning the long walk back to my apartment to spend yet another night in my own company. Just the way I liked it.

The wine bottle fell to the floor but did not smash. Luckily enough it was empty, I'd made sure of that. Putting down my glass I glanced at the clock, I'd need to be in bed soon if I wanted to make it through tomorrow.

Compared to Cassie, and probably most other women my age, I did not have a strict night time regime consisting of moisturizing, toning and whatever else they did. If I was lucky I went to sleep in proper night clothes. If not, a simple brushing of my teeth would be about it.

As usual I picked out the required pills and filled a glass of water on my way back to bed. This day had been nothing special, it would just blend into the dull life of Alice. I involuntarily gave a sad smile at that thought; if anyone asked me what I'd been up to this last year I'd barely be able to give them a proper answer. To much of my energy was used on keeping up my front, working hard enough, and running from what I'd left behind. I didn't have time to make many memories and I had even less energy to try and remember them.

I tossed and turned in the dark, the drugs my body was getting used to were having less of an effect each night. Without them, my thoughts turned nasty, towards the secrets that ate away at me. They haunted me, tortured my conscious and fought to be allowed out. They never stayed quietly tucked away any more, it was as if my battered and long-suffering mind was giving up on the secrets that plagued me.

I couldn't allow them to be let out. I couldn't tell anyone about the shattered illusion which had been my childhood. I let people think I was ok. I had my front, it protected me from the wicked, vicious things in the world which I knew were out there. As long as I kept my thoughts and memories to myself, I was safe. No-one would know and no-one would judge. I couldn't take being judged. It would be the final straw to break the camels back so to speak.

So that is why, I take the drugs to push myself beyond the realms of consciousness, into a plateau of never ending emptiness, where my mind can be at peace. Even if only for the hours until I wake.


	2. Money, Money, Money

_Hello :)_

_Sorry it's taken simply forever to post again but I kind of had a change of heart and re-wrote some of it :) Anyway thanks to anyone who read and the kind person who reviewed it for me as well! This chapter's pretty long but I had no idea where to cut it down, plus, Jasper's in it :D_

_So here's to hoping you guys like the next chapter and please review...I can take constructive critisism too._

_Gymnasticstar_

* * *

The next day was the same mind-numbing emptiness as the day before. I arrived at work, late as usual and half-starved from lack of proper food. Not that anyone noticed.

"Ali, can you get that customer…I need a smoke." Cassie hissed, tilting her head to where a lanky blond was waiting. I shrugged, what other choice did I have? "Life-saver," she whispered and hurried away. "Hello, welcome to Handy Harry's, what can I get for you today?" I asked, trying to sound as if I enjoyed my job.

The blond raised an eyebrow but didn't comment, "I'll have a black coffee to drink in," he ordered. I fixed up his order as quickly as I could and then rang it up, "That'll be $2.00." He handed over a ten dollar bill, "Keep the change," he winked and walked over to a table. It was a rule at Harry's that all tips should be put in the register as profit but just thinking about having to go another day without a shower made me shove the bills into my pocket.

"That guy is dead hot…he's been there for over an hour as well," Cassie hissed as we crossed paths. I put the blueberry muffin I was serving on a plate and headed back, "Which guy?"

Cassie rolled her eyes at me, "The blond one in the corner, keeps ordering black coffee like a caffeine addict," she replied. I snuck a look and sure enough that same customer was sat there, "Maybe he's waiting for someone…or just likes coffee?" I suggested. I was not in the mood to be fixing Cassie up with more strangers.

I had to admit he was pretty good looking in a chiselled jaw, tousled blond hair kind-of way, although that was totally not my type. All the guys I'd ever dated had been dark-haired which Cassie kept insisting was an omen for me to avoid them altogether.

Her eyes widened suspiciously and I immediately knew what was going to happen, "No" I said, "I flat out refuse." She put her hands together in a prayer position, "Please Ali…pretty please? Last time I promise!" she begged.

I shook my head in defiance, "I'm fed up of asking guys to go on dates with you. If you like him that much go ask him yourself," I told her. Cassie snapped her gum and paused for thought, "$50 for it. Honestly, it'll be the last time" she offered.

That put a stop to my being dead set against it. Cassie had more money than sense, although it still wasn't a lot, and that $50 could really come in useful for me. I pondered it some more whilst serving my next customer and then told her I'd do it if she threw in a blueberry muffin. "You little minx…nothing's ever enough. Fine, muffin as well, but go and ask him now, in case he leaves!" she said, eyeing him up not-so-discreetly.

I went to walk over but she stopped me, "Say nice things…don't make me sound desperate. Oh and I don't like Indian food or Thai, or any action films…" but I interrupted, "Cas, I've done this for you more times than I can count. It'll be fine"

"Excuse me?" I asked as I approached the blond guy, praying that I wouldn't blush during this little conversation. He looked up with a bemused expression, "Can I help you?" he asked pleasantly as if he was enjoying my torture.

I took a deep breath and pointed over towards the counter, "Oh god this is humiliating. My friend, Cassie, really likes you and wants me to find out if you'd like to go out sometime" I mumbled quickly.

He raised an eyebrow, "I think I caught all of that" with a laugh and then looked back towards Cassie, "Well, Alice…" he said, peering at my name tag, "Sorry to give you a wasted journey but I'm going to have to decline your friend's invitation."

I nodded, "Of course, oh well, $50 bucks for me" I grinned and then went to walk away. "Wait…she paid you to come and ask me?" he called out and I hurried back, "Shhh…you'll get me in trouble" and he obviously knew better than to ask why, "Would she do the same for you?"

I fought to keep my exhausted eyes open until that point, "I uhh, guess so if I ever asked" I told him, wondering where this was going. He shrugged, "That's all…ohh and can I grab another black coffee whilst you're very conveniently here" he asked with a smile.

I jotted it down and returned to tell Cassie the bad news, "He said no? Why would he say no? Maybe you didn't ask him properly" she hissed. I made the coffee, "Let me take it to him, I'm sure he meant yes" she snatched the drink out of my hands and made her way over to him, swinging her hips in what she obviously thought was a sexy way.

"Ali-baby…how are we doing?" Harry asked in a booming voice, walking up behind me and getting just a little too close for comfort.

I wriggled away under the pretence of rearranging a display, "We're uhh…doing fine. Is there a problem?" He shrugged with a sneaky smile, "Apart from the fact you look like the walking death no" I shuddered, "Sorry Harry" I mumbled, looking down at the floor. He didn't seem to notice though, "Why's Cassie over there with that customer? There's no fraternizing on my time!" he snapped.

I looked up to notice my co-worker twirling her hair and obviously still trying to get the guy to go out with her. She looked over my way once or twice and when she noticed Harry she hurried back, "Sorry boss…he's a regular and wanted to know whether we used Cuban or Puerto Rican beans" she lied after seeing his expression.

Harry's smile reappeared, "Of course. Ok girls…well back to work, make me money!" he joked and then walked off whistling.

"Cuban or Puerto Rican coffee beans? I can't believe he fell for that!" I scoffed as soon as he was out of range. Cassie nodded, "I found out why he doesn't want to go out with me" she said calmly as I went to fill up the machine.

I bit my lip; I couldn't really take another evening of Cassie complaining about guys who didn't like blondes when they were obviously the best. She completely over-looked my dark locks on that conversation but that was Cas all over, nothing ever got her attention except men and herself.

"He wants to ask you out" she said and I was so shocked that I dropped the bottle of milk I was holding as I spun around, "What?" I yelped, my voice making a strangled sound.

Cassie raised an eyebrow, "He wants to ask you out. Is that so difficult to understand? You want it in a different language?" she giggled. I bent down to pick up the pieces of glass off the floor, "No I understand, I'm just surprised" I muttered.

Cassie scoffed, "So am I. I totally thought he'd go for me…not you" she said, self-absorbed as usual and ignorant of how cruel she came off.

"Well that's where you're wrong…I like the intriguing girls" a deep voice with southern undertones replied.

My head snapped up to see the blond guy leaning against the counter looking incredibly amused at both the situation and the conversation. "Sorry but, I'm not intriguing?" Cassie startled, staring at him like he was crazy. He shrugged, "I'm sure you are…but blonds really aren't my type" and with that Cassie huffed and stormed off to serve the next customer.

The guy didn't move; he just watched me, making me feel more self-conscious as I tried to clean up the mess. "Shit," immediately dropping the piece of glass I'd just cut my finger on. A trickle of blood ran down my index digit and dropped into the pool of milk, turning it a sickly pink, "Run it under the tap" the guy advised with a smile.

I had already been planning to do that and in five minutes it was covered up and the milk had vanished. "Can I get you another drink?" I asked, feeling uncomfortable in the way he was staring curiously at me.

"Six cups of black coffee it took for me to speak to you ma'am. Any more and I'll start twitching" he laughed. I couldn't help but smile, even in my state of extreme drowsiness, "Well we're about to close anyway so…we hope you enjoyed your visit to Handy Harry's" I told him, repeating the cheesy line that the boss insisted we say.

The guy raised an eyebrow, obviously a favourite trait of his, "Oh I did…and I'll be back tomorrow Alice" he said closing the door behind him and leaving me very confused.

"Here you go girls…see you bright and early tomorrow morning" Harry said, handing over two non-descript white envelopes. I shrugged my jacket back on and pulled up the hood, "That means you actually have to sleep Ali-baby. No late night partying" he joked. _Oh how I wished that was the case._

Without a reply I walked out of his office, feeling his gaze resting disturbingly on my backside. It was raining once again as I stepped out onto the street and the deserted roads seemed more sinister tonight as I headed home. It didn't worry me as much as it probably should, I was tough and trouble had a way of finding me so I was plenty experienced.

I was five minutes or so from my apartment when I remembered the lack of edible substance at home and dashed into a slightly grubby looking 7/11. I did a two minute shop for apples, milk, bread and honey….my totally normal diet. "That'll be $11.50 please hon." the cashier said as I bagged up my items. Pulling the envelope out I handed over a $20 and took the change, "Have a nice evening" she called as I stepped back into the rain.

"Oi lazy ass…open this door" a gruff voice called, knocking violently on my front door.

I put down the half eaten apple I was consuming and shuddered, nothing could be worse than knowing what was coming. "Evening" I said as he barged past me and flopped down on to the sofa. "Al, babe, turn up the heating. It's like a friggin' ice box in here" he moaned, kicking his shoes across the floor.

I walked towards him, "I can't they shut it off. No money equals no heat" I told him calmly, hoping tonight would be quick and simple.

He turned to glare at me, "No heating? Stupid bitch can't even pay your bills on time" he snapped. I closed my eyes, waiting for the pain but it didn't come, "Ali, no need to look so scared…I'm in a mellow mood" he laughed.

I grimaced inwardly, those moods could almost be worse than when he was angry at me. He patted the sofa, "So…bring me the money and sit down" he smiled and I tried not to dry-heave. I passed over Harry's envelope, "$95. That's all you got for a week's work?" infuriated as he thumbed through he bills. I shuffled closer to the edge, "I can't control what he pays me. Please, just take it" I whimpered.

He shoved it into a coat pocket, "If you cleaned up a little better I'm sure you'd get much better paid work" he sneered.

I shuddered involuntarily, "I'm fine working there…it's not actually too bad," "Not too bad? What makes it not too bad?" he snapped, demanding an answer. I inwardly cursed myself for the slip-up, oh well, at least now I knew that I would pay for it.

"Jesus C…what happened to your face?" Cassie cried as I walked into work the next morning.

Instinctively I pressed a hand to my throbbing, dark black cheek, "It was nothing…just caught it on my bedside table tossing and turning in my sleep" I lied. In fact I'd not had any sleep last night and was purely running on the terror that if I didn't work I wouldn't have the money next time.

Cassie sympathetically tutted, "Here…have a coffee, you look like shit" she said, chucking my apron at me and going to begin serving the queue.

"Well good morning" came a southern drawl and I looked up from the toast I'd been buttering. His face registered shock, probably at the sight of my face, for all of about two seconds and then it was gone, "You've come back again?"

He laughed, "I don't quite think that your boss would like you turning customers away" and even I had to smile at his retort. "I guess not…can I get you something?"

"Why, I'm sure you can ma'am. I'll have a black coffee and perhaps an explanation as to the fantastic colour of your skin…unless it's a new type of make-up?"

I fixed his coffee quickly, "Here's the drink but the explanation isn't going to happen"

Sipping the beverage he glanced up at the bruise again, "Why not? I'm just curious" and I turned my cheek slightly away from him.

"First I don't even know your name and-"

He interrupted, "My name's Jasper Hale ma'am"

I carried on, "And I don't know where you come from but here in the city we tend not to spill our problems to strangers."

His eyes twinkled, "So there is a problem then?" he asked, a serious tone coming into his voice.

I huffed, "You're infuriating…now go drink your coffee and leave me to serve other people" I insisted, turning to the woman next in line.

Friday nights. How I loathed Friday nights. What went wrong in my life to warrant me having to work at a shitty coffee shop all day and then have to work at a leachy, dilapidated club each weekend as well? If this was the American dream then I bloody well wanted to move country, heck move continent if I had to.

Stepping in through the back door I grimaced at the loud pop music that immediately assaulted my ear drums. Shimmying out of my black coat I tugged uncomfortably at my skirt. Another reason to hate this place, it required a skimpy uniform. A skimpy uniform without sleeves, which obviously created a problem for me. Luckily the club was dark enough for me to get away with it, and the few people that did notice were usually so drunk that they glossed over it.

"Alice…hell, where have you been? Your shift started ten minutes ago!" my boss, Dominic complained. He was another slimy, old git, just like most of the men in my life at the moment. His greasy grey comb-over and too-tight leather jacket just screamed 'Disturbing old man.'

"I'm sorry Dom, the bus was late"

"Not an excuse Alice"

"I know and I'm sorry. It won't happen again"

"It better not. Now knock back a drink, cheer up and go make some people happy"

I hurried off towards the bar, pulling my skirt down and tugging my top up to cover more of my exposed, pale flesh. "Oi, you. Get me a beer" some guy shouted at me as I passed but it was protocol for me to ignore him until I'd reached my position.

The night passed slowly, through a haze of vodka shots, beer glasses and drunken men trying to pull the waitresses. By midnight I thought I was going to pass out from the heat and exhaustion, there was no way my body could carry on like this.

"Have a drink"

I spun around and almost groaned in despair when I saw Harry sat on the bar seat, leering at me and my too short skirt. I shuddered slightly, "I can't…I'm working" I insisted and hoped he'd get the point.

"Once won't kill you babe. Or at least get me a beer…make yourself useful" he criticised.

I served him the drink and thankfully he didn't press the issue any further for the rest of the evening, although I swear his eyes followed me everywhere I went.

"You did good girl. I saw at least three punters buy drinks just to see your pretty little face" Dom told me with a smirk at the end of the night. I had no reply for that and twiddled my thumbs whilst he counted out my pay. "$160. Here you go, see you tomorrow night" and I shoved my coat back on and left.

The city was eerily quiet outside the club, being almost 3am and most of the partiers had wound up back home by this time. I lent against the wall to catch my breath as the cold had hit me straight in the face as soon as I'd stepped outside. The club was situated in a dodgy part of town, an area notorious for muggings and carjacking but usually I thought about nothing else but the money I earn working there. Tonight however, I feeling quite uneasy about the darkness that was surrounding me.

Was that a man crouched by that far wall? No…it was just a trash can. _Jeez, calm down Alice_, I reprimanded myself.

I turned to begin my long trek home and almost screamed out loud when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Quiet and you won't get hurt" a rough whisper came from the darkness.

I recognised that voice, it was Harry I was sure of it, and judging by his breath he'd had far more than the recommended alcohol limit.

"Let me go Harry" I whimpered as his hand clutched my shoulder tighter. That was definitely going to bruise.

I heard him snicker and he pulled me around harshly so that I was facing him. "You're a tease Alice, you know that? Those skimpy outfits and creamy skin. Don't tell me it's not for a purpose" he growled.

I opened my mouth to protest but at that moment his lips came crashing down onto mine and I felt the wind knocked out of me.

I struggled for a few minutes, trying in vain to push his large body away from me. Sadly my tiny frame was no competition for him but I refused to give up.

"Baby…stop pretending you don't want this" I shuddered before realising what he meant for us to do. _Why were all the men in my life such complete jerks?_ His hands began to wander dangerously close to my skirt and fighting back the nausea I took a deep breath and screamed.

"Get off me. Help!" I screamed as loudly as I possibly could until his hand came down to cover my face, "You stupid whore. What are you doing?" he drunkenly snapped. I tried biting his hand but he just laughed, "Come on…just a bit of fun" he teased, pulling me towards the eternal darkness of the club.

_This is it. I'm going to be drunkenly assaulted by my boss and there's nothing I can do to stop him. No matter how much I pretend to be tough in this city things were never going to work out for me, _I thought.

"Oi, she said get off."

I opened my eyes just in time to see Harry staggering backwards clutching his jaw and to feel a strong pair of arms wrapped around my waist.

"Jasper?"

"Are you ok ma'am?"

"I'm fine…what are you doing here?"

"Don't worry about that…let's go"

I allowed myself to walk a few hundred yards with his arm still around my waist before realising how stupid I was being. I'd just been assaulted and now I was walking into the darkness with a complete stranger? I was just asking for more trouble.

"Thanks for before…I've uhh…got to go" I mumbled, stepping away from him and out of his reach.

His forehead puckered up in confusion and he reached for my shoulder again, "You need to get to a hospital. You're bleeding"

I reached up to where there was a mild sting of pain and sure enough a trickle of blood was running down from a cut on my head. "It's nothing. I'll be fine" I insisted.

"Have I done something wrong? Did I misinterpret the situation?"

I shook my head, "No of course not. I'm grateful for what you just did but it would be better…for you and for me…if you just stayed away"

"You make it sound like you're bad luck or something"

"Maybe I am. I can't explain anything to you but just…just leave me alone"

Leaving him with a startled, hurt and confused expression I hurried away, pulling my coat close to my body as I walked. I was now so much more wary of my surroundings that I even paid attention to the dark alleyways I'd normally ignored on my way home.

I ignored the fact that I had no hot water as I stepped into the shower and tried to rinse away the memories of what had just happened. Of the hurt that had registered on Jasper's face before I'd walked off. He'd only been trying to help and as usual, I'd pushed someone away.

_'Get a grip Alice, you know why you can't let anyone get that close'_ my thoughts told me and as always, I had to agree with them. There was no room in my life for people I cared about or even those who I barely knew, like Jasper. People who got too close to me were all too often hurt. For some strange reason the idea of Jasper getting hurt made my stomach queasy, _'must just be lack of food'_ I reasoned but I wasn't in the mood to eat so I just went to bed.

I took more than the recommended limit of sleeping tablets but after what had happened already tonight, I was not in the mood to wake up trembling from another nightmare. I closed my eyes and rolled over onto my side, no-one could get too close to me anymore. That was my motto. People who got close got hurt. So it was better not to allow anyone to see the real me.

That had worked pretty dam well for the past few years so why was I suddenly questioning it? Why was my mind fighting against what the rest of me was demanding? That for once, I could let down my guard and allow someone in. And if it just so happened to be Jasper, then that would be an added bonus!


	3. Just One Drink

Hey guys. Thanks for all the lovely reviews I received for the last chapter! Sorry it takes me forever to upload which is personally a pet peeve of mine, so I'll try to improve that now that my exams are almost over! Yey :D

Hope you enjoy this chapter, mainly because I probably have more fun writing this story than anyone does reading it. As always, constructive criticism is welcome, as are any ideas!

Gymnasticstar

* * *

Needless to say over the next few nights my nightmares were much more intense than before, now they contained clips of my ordeal.

I don't know what I'd been expecting when I went into work on Tuesday.

"Morning princess. Grab an apron and go help Cassie" Harry told me, barely looking up from his computer game.

"That guy came in yesterday, I think he was looking for you" Cassie mumbled as we waited for the morning rush. I busied myself with the flapjacks, "Oh yeah?" dead nonchalantly of course.

Cassie scowled at my reaction, "He asked whether you were working and when he found out you weren't, he left. He asked me to check if you were ok though" she said. I rolled my eyes at her pathetic show of jealousy, "Cas, you're perfectly welcome to him. I'm sick of him turning up everywhere I go" I lied.

Her face lit up but then rapidly fell again, "I wish, but he's totally set on getting you to agree to date him. I don't know what he finds so interesting about you" she told me cattily and then walked off towards the first customer of the day.

I scrapped my black hair back into the regulation ponytail and tied up my apron, it was going to be a tedious day.

He didn't come in today.

Or the next day.

Or even the day after that.

It was only late on Saturday afternoon, a week after the incident, that he made his reappearance with a cheeky grin on his face. "Ma'am, can you get me a black coffee and a skinny latte" he asked. I had been too busy trying to come up with an excuse for our last exchange that I'd failed to notice the woman stood next to him.

For some strange and unknown reason I felt my heart drop. She was absolutely gorgeous with rippling blond hair, a super-model's body and a perfect face only marred by the bored expression she wore. 'I _thought he didn't like blondes_' I thought but shook my head to clear it, "Of course I can"

I set about fixing his order whilst he just stood and watched me, occasionally muttering something to the blonde. I don't know why I felt this way. It was hardly as if I liked him or even felt remotely attracted to him. Yet just seeing him stood there, with someone as perfect looking as her, made me wonder why on earth he'd spoken to me. Plain, dull, totally-not-perfect-looking Alice.

"Here you go…keep the change Alice" he drawled, handing me a $20 and then following the woman over to a table by the window.

"Aww, lover-boy's found himself a blonde" Cassie said bitterly.

"He's not lover-boy. I barely know him"

"I thought he said blondes weren't his type?" she said, totally ignoring me.

"Maybe he changed his mind? Or maybe she's a natural brunette?"

"Or…he's playing hard to get! I bet that's what he's doing!"

"Cassie…don't-" I inwardly groaned, she could never let something drop.

"Relax Ali; he's obviously totally into me. Hmm, I like a good challenge"

I let the subject drop; nothing I could say would make her change her mind over this situation. Maybe at least I'd get a laugh out of her advances.

I watched Cassie approach their table and stifled a laugh at his terrified expression and the bemusement of his companion. Eventually Cassie came back over,

"He said no again…still not his type apparently"

"Maybe you should just let him go. There are other guys"

"He wants me, I know he does. Leave it to me. Cassie McGee always gets her man!"

* * *

An hour passed in a surreal blur and we began to close up shop. Cassie was outside when I realised that Jasper had appeared at the counter again, "Sorry, we're closing." I told him.

He beckoned for me to lean closer, "She's not my girlfriend"

"Excuse me?"

"She's not my girlfriend, she's my sister. Just don't tell your friend…she's like a dog with a bone"

I laughed at the worried expression he put on, and somehow felt strangely pleased that he wasn't dating the extremely beautiful blonde. "I'll keep your secret, Cassie can be very-"

"Forward? Intimidating? Terrifying?"

Laughing again I pushed a piece of hair away from my face, "All of the above. I hope you and your 'girlfriend' enjoyed your coffee." I told him and went off to clean up.

As with every other day Harry handed us the envelopes with our pay in and then we left the café, into the bitter wind of the city. I waved goodbye to Cassie and almost jumped out of my skin when I turned around and almost walked straight into Jasper's chest. "What are you doing?" I hissed, still slightly jumpy after last week.

"Come for a drink with me. Just one drink" he pleaded.

"I can't, I have work tonight"

"At that sleazy club? How can you work there?"

"It pays the bills and I need the money. It's hardly my dream job"

"The club doesn't open till 10. You've got plenty of time for just one drink"

"You don't give up do you?"

"No ma'am"

"Maybe you and Cassie are more suited to each other than I thought"

He leant forward and looked deep into my eyes, "But it's not Cassie that I'm interested in"

My heart skipped a beat and I felt like I couldn't breath, no-one had made me feel like this in a very long time. It was almost like a new experience. "One drink. Then will you promise to stop bothering me?"

He pretended to put a hurt look on his face but nodded anyway, "One drink and you never have to see me again. Apart from the odd visit for coffee...but even then, I'll try not to speak much"

With a smile on my face I pulled my coat tighter around me and we set off along the street. I never normally did this sort of thing. I was a total newbie to any kind of dating scene. Yet something about this guy drew me towards him. Despite his happy-go-lucky outwards appearance, it was obvious he was hiding something as well. It took a seasoned professional like myself to notice when someone had inner demons, and that's what I think attracted me to him the most.

We were similar and for once in my life, I felt like I'd found someone I might be able to relate to.

* * *

"A brandy and a…"

"Red wine please"

Jasper ordered our drinks as I settled into my seat. It was a beautiful bar, elegant and modern yet still cosy enough to have a decent conversation. "Ok, then. Here's your one drink" Jasper said with a smile.

"I don't understand you"

He paused after a mouthful of his drink, "You don't understand me?"

"No. Why, are you so interested in me?"

"Honestly? I don't know the answer to that. I find you captivating, as if I can't help myself from wanting to get to know you"

I didn't know how to respond to that so I sipped my wine and took a look around the bar, it was an upper-class establishment. He must be fairly well-off to afford a drink at a place like this.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, watching my face intently from across the table. I felt myself blush,

"I was just admiring the surroundings. I didn't mean to be rude." I bit my lip and he chuckled.

"Another thing I find completely fascinating about you. You're so different to everyone else; it's as if you live in your own little world at times"

'_If only you knew_' I sighed inwardly, but kept the smile on my face, "I don't like to dwell on the harshness of the real world. I guess that makes me a coward?"

"Or it makes you smart"

We sat with our drinks in silence for a few moments, obviously having hit a wall in our conversation that neither of us felt comfortable to break down. After my little comment the obvious way forward was for him to ask what it was I was scared of in the real world. Thankfully he didn't, he must have realised I wouldn't talk about it because he changed the topic.

"So Alice, what else do you get up to? Other than work and needing people to save you" he asked.

"Not funny. I read and well yeah, just sort of write I suppose"

"Really? Are you any good?"

"That's like asking if war is a good thing. Everyone has their own opinion"

"A sort of…each to their own?"

"Something like that I guess. What about you?"

"I write music, play music, live for music…but if you're asking about my job, I work at the History Museum"

"That's an answer I wasn't expecting-"

"What did you expect?"

"Oh I...umm…"

"You can tell me. No wait, let me guess. McDonald's cashier? Road sweeper?"

I laughed at his suggestions, "Not at all. I just find it interesting that I'm speaking to someone who's obviously a lot clever than I am"

"Don't sell yourself short. You might not work in a museum or a bank Alice, but I can tell you're anything but dumb"

I blushed again at his praise and making no move to leave he ordered us another drink, which I didn't even notice until it was placed in front of me. "One drink?" I smirked.

Jasper shrugged, "What can I say? We're just getting started on this topic"

We continued to talk about generic things like that until I'd had at least three glasses of wine and I could feel myself getting tipsy. "I should really leave. I can't be late for work" I sighed, pulling my arm through my coat sleeve.

"Don't go"

"I have to. It's my job and I need the cash"

"Call in sick. You're entitled to a night off"

"I can't. You don't understand…"

"Help me to"

I sighed exasperated, why couldn't he let this drop? "I can't explain it to you, it's too complicated"

He gave up trying to argue with me and paid for our drinks, despite my offer to buy my own, "I'm a gentleman, plus I practically begged you to come out with me"

* * *

I stepped outside and began walking in the direction of my neighbourhood when I realised he was following me, "Jasper, I have to go home" I told him.

He shrugged, "I know and I'm walking you home. Can't have you getting yourself into trouble again now can we ma'am"

As strange as this was I let him take me home, even allowing him to follow me up the stairs to my front door, "Ok, I've made it this far. I think I'm safe"

He cocked an eyebrow, "Alice. I don't think anything with you is ever as simple as 'I'm safe.' You attract danger to yourself and-"

"Yes?"

"I was kind of hoping I could use your bathroom…"

I laughed at the sheepish expression he wore and stepped back to allow him inside, "Behold...my not so spectacular lodgings" I said and pointed him in the direction of the bathroom. I went into my bedroom and tugged on my uniform, getting my foot tangled in the stockings, "_Oomph_" as I crashed to the floor.

"Alice, are you…?" Jasper asked, walking into my bedroom, expecting to find me hurt, and seeing me half-dressed on the floor. He immediately turned away, "Sorry. I thought you'd…"

"It's ok. Just give me a moment…make yourself comfortable out there" I told him, extremely embarrassed by what had just happened. He closed the door behind him and I went about finishing getting dressed, blushing every time I remembered that Jasper had just seen me half-naked. How on earth could I face him again, I was mortified.

"Did you know you have the grand total of one apple and a slice of mouldy bread?" he asked as I returned to the living room.

"I haven't been shopping"

"What do you do when you get hungry?"

"I sleep"

"That's not very…" he trailed off when he noticed my expression. "Sorry…not my place" he mumbled and sat back down on the sofa. I fixed my make-up in the mirror,

"Ok…in a strictly platonic, friendship kind of way, how do I look?" I asked him, turning to face the sofa.

"I'd like to say gorgeous but I'm going to have to settle for beautiful because sorry, but that outfit is tacky"

I sighed, "I know, it's all part of Dom's plan to attract more punters. Have 'whores' behind the bar as he likes to say. But thanks all the same"

"I don't think you're a whore" he said quietly.

"I don't think I am either" I joked and it was lovely to hear his pleasant laugh ring through my usually silent apartment.

"Right…well I've got to go-" I started but was interrupted by a knocking at the door.

"Bloody hell Ali…open the frickin' door already!" Cam's voice boomed as he continued to pound his fist on the wood. I'm sure my face must have taken on a terrified expression because Jasper jumped up and I had to mouth 'Hide' before he did something stupid

He left the room slowly, as if debating whether to do what I asked or whether to stand his ground. I'm sure I must have looked panicked because eventually he disappeared and it took me a few seconds to gather my thoughts before I opened the door.

I couldn't let him know that there was someone in my apartment; Cam would actually kill me if he found Jasper.

'_Hmm maybe I should call him back here…_' but I mentally slapped myself for that lapse.

I'd come too far to give up now, as much as that seemed like a brilliant idea at times. Talking with Jasper seemed like a godsend and I was more determined than ever to make a go at starting afresh.

Blows hammered down on the door again and snapped me out of my daydream. Of course. Before I could even think about my new life, ruled by only me, I had to deal with the very angry, possibly aggressive man on the other side of that weakening door.


	4. Cinnamon and Vanilla

Hey guys, if anyone is still reading this then I applaud you all and am shocked at your level of dedication lol. I have no real excuse for my lack of update on this other than I began uni in September and have been caught up in that crazy First year whirlwind of excessive drinking, partying and the skipping of lectures. So yeah, absolutely no real excuse and if I find out that anyone is still reading this story then I will promise to try and update more frequently :)

Hope you guys enjoy it, Coffeeaddictedstudent x

* * *

"About time baby. What took you so long?" Cam asked, throwing himself down on my sofa where only seconds before, Jasper had been sat. I closed the door,

"I was fixing my hair" I lied, hoping that he'd believe me.

Luckily, he did and our usual exchange of me handing over the money and him making rude comments about my attire followed. Ten minutes later and Cam finally got up, "You've done ok…but I want more next week. Work harder, do more shifts or whatever. If you don't, I will have to make you profitable some other way" he said and then laughed. One last leer at my skimpy outfit and he left, slamming the door noisily behind himself.

"I really hope that being stuffed into your closet meant I heard that conversation incorrectly ma'am" Jasper's voice said as he opened my bedroom door and stepped out.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him knowing he'd just heard that humiliating exchange and that he was probably putting together scenarios in his head right now.

"Alice!" he said again loudly, stepping towards me.

"It was nothing…just drop it Jasper"

"That was serious Alice. I can't just drop it"

"Well you're going to have to. Now, I have to go to work so I'm sorry but you have to leave" I snapped.

Slamming the door behind us I fiddled with my keys, my numb with the cold fingers unable to do it right the first few times. Jasper just stood broodingly behind me until I was finally done, "Alice…you should report him" he said quietly as we walked out of the building to the sidewalk.

"I can't. Thanks for the drinks though and remember…you promised not to bother me at work" I told him with a smile and then threw myself into a passing cab. As we drove away I watched out of the rear mirror as his expression changed from one of confusion to determination and I wondered what on earth he was going to do.

There was no denying it though. Despite my efforts and his promises, I knew that at some point, I was going to run into Jasper again.

* * *

Monday arrived and I was surprisingly dreading it because it was my first day in a long time that I had absolutely no work and no-where to be. Waking up at my usual early hour of 6am I had a lukewarm shower and that slightly decaying apple from the fridge. I never usually had this much time to myself to keep occupied and I was at a loss as to what to do with it. I most certainly didn't want to waste it.

I budgeted that with Cam's increased demand and my salary for this week plus what was left over from last week, I had exactly $26 to spend on myself for the next week. What a depressing thought.

"Will that be all miss?" the wall-mart cashier asked me as he bagged up my purchases. I nodded and handed him the $15 he requested, accepting my change and hurrying away. I didn't really like huge spaces like that supercentre; it always made me feel as if I was being watched.

"Buy anything nice?" I heard someone ask and turned around to see Cassie walking forward with a broad grin on her face. I shrugged, "Food…aren't you supposed to be working?" I asked, trying to divert the conversation away from my shopping.

We talked for about three minutes until she had to leave, something for which I was eternally grateful because her annoying monotone voice was giving me a tension headache.

Walking home wasn't a drag for once because the wintry wind and rain had vanished for a day and instead there were moderately clear skies and the occasional burst of sunshine from behind a cloud. I walked slowly, taking in the true beauty of everything that was happening around me, trying to get inspiration for the drawing I wanted to do when I got home.

Back home I put away the measly shopping I'd been able to afford which was basically a bottle of shampoo, some deodorant, a bottle of diet coke, a large bag of pasta and some new underwear. Those were the basic things I survived on and the way I lived hardly gave me any excess cash for the luxuries.

The remainder of my day was spent sat at the table with my pencil and sketchbook, drawing just about everything. I couldn't help myself at one point and I knew that no matter how hard I tried to fight the urge, I really wanted to draw a picture of Jasper. I gave in and spent well over an hour trying to make it as realistic as possible, attempting to capture his cheeky smile and that devilish glint he sometimes got in his eye.

Later that evening I cooked some pasta and relished in the first proper meal I'd eaten all week. My stomach however protested at the idea of eating so much food and I spent the next half an hour trying to keep it down with no luck. As if fate wanted to punish me some more, whilst I was hanging over my toilet bowl someone decided to knock on my door. Flushing the toilet, I wiped my mouth and found the blond from the café with Jasper stood out in the corridor.

I blushed, "Umm…can I help you?"

"I'm Rosalie, Jasper's sister. I was just wondering if he was here."

"Uhh no. I haven't seen him since yesterday. Why? Is he ok?"

"I don't know. This is the only other address he's ever written down on a scrap of paper in his room"

"I'm sorry I can't help you"

"No hassle. If you see him, tell him to shift his ass back home." and with that she sashayed her perfect self away down the hall.

I closed the door and wondered why she was so upset. Jasper was an adult; he could go out once in a while without his family fretting, right? Settling my stomach with a glass of water I retired to my bed, hoping for a good nights sleep and knowing already that it wouldn't happen.

* * *

Days passed monotonously, all blurring into one long, exhausting week without so much as an appearance from Jasper to change my mood. I was reaching an all-time low again, where no matter what I did it looked like my life was going to stay this way forever. That was a depressing thought. I couldn't bring myself to start looking on the bright side anymore and it was a struggle to get out of bed in the mornings, let alone stand up at work all day.

I was sliding down a steep slope into the dangerous place I'd already been before. The worst thing was, I knew what was happening, and I didn't stop it.

"Seriously dude, you need a good night out to cheer you up. You look and act like the living death" Cassie commented a few days later as we waited patiently for more customers. I just shrugged; there was no energy to spare on arguing with her, "I just need some sleep, that's all"

"No offence Al, but lack of sleep doesn't cause someone to look that bad"

"We all react differently"

"Still…I am actually worried about you"

"Don't be. I'll be fine, I always am"

"True as that may be, you should take a couple of days off. Recuperate?"

I shook my head violently, that would sort nothing, "No I need to work. Just let me be Cas."

After that she didn't make any more comments on my health or my looks but tended to ignore my sulky butt throughout our shifts. I don't blame her; I had a small problem with biting people's heads off at the moment.

It was the next day, when I was stood behind the counter, struggling to keep my eyes open when I spotted Jasper outside. My mood instantly felt boosted, no idea why, and I couldn't help the smile that fought its way to the surface when he looked inside and noticed me. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to break our agreement ma'am" he said with a smile to match my own.

"How un-gentlemanly of you" I teased as he walked closer to the counter. Ignoring Cassie's spiteful glare from across the room, I set about making him his black coffee.

"Just how I like it"

"There's no other way to have it" I rolled my eyes.

"Of course not, here you go then. Come…sit with me" he offered.

I glanced around the almost deserted café; it was not a popular time of the day to be drinking coffee but my break wasn't for another ten minutes. "Sure, whatever. Go have your break" Cassie muttered when I ever so politely asked her if she'd mind. I could tell by her tone that she was pissed off; she still obviously wasn't over the fact that Jasper had turned her down. It must have been a new experience for her or something.

I made myself a strong mug of coffee and went to go and sit by Jasper, who had a mischievous smile on his face that immediately made me wary, "What?" I asked, blowing lightly over my drink.

"Nothing. I'm just happy that you agreed to sit with me"

"You really are too easy to please"

"Or you're just too pleasing. I haven't decided which one is right yet"

I blushed and took a sip of my drink, "You're thinking again I can tell" he said seriously, leaning forward enough that I got a whiff of his scent. It was masculine, sort of a cross between cinnamon and that crazy, calming smell of fresh laundry. I couldn't help myself but laugh at that one.

"What?" he asked, his eyes flashing in amusement.

I shook my head; there was no way I could tell him that without him thinking I was absolutely crazy. If he didn't already.

"Go on, I want to know" he pressed.

"It's too embarrassing"

"Were you thinking about me naked?" he joked and then winked. I immediately blushed at his comment. "So you were!" he exclaimed, taking my expression the wrong way.

I started laughing and shook my head again, "No I was not!"

"Go on then, what was it about?"

"Fine. I was…umm…actually trying to figure out…what you smelt like"

He grinned broadly, "Well at least you were thinking about me" he teased, pretending to be overly- flattered. I rolled my eyes, "It was annoying me trying to come up with the answer, that's all"

"And? What do I smell like then?"

"Cinnamon…and uhh…fresh laundry"

We sat silently for what seemed like an age before he burst out laughing, "There I was expecting something bad. That's quite a nice combination I guess"

I blushed again, how embarrassing. That made two events in the few weeks we'd known each other that I'd made an idiot of myself.

"So...do you want to know what you smell like?"

"This is so stupid but…ok"

He paused for thought and I took a sip of my coffee, "You smell of vanilla cupcakes"

He must be joking; I was never around those sorts of things. "This is most probably the most random conversation I've had in a long time" I told him with a smile.

"Apart from that one with that guy?" he said and I froze. Why did he have to bring it up? We were having such a good time until he'd mentioned that incident. I got up and picked up the two empty cups, "I've got to get back to work" I said coldly walking away.

"Alice! I'm sorry I said that" he called after me and I heard the scraping back of the metal chair across the floor. He caught up to me and put a hand on my shoulder. I jumped away from his touch like it burnt, "Leave me alone"

I washed up the cups, served a few customers and when I looked back he was still stood there, obvious intent on not leaving just yet.

"I don't know why I said that, I wasn't thinking straight" he pleaded.

"Obviously"

"Calm down and then I can apologise properly Alice. Please let me make it up to you" he said and I could see Cassie watching this little argument happily in the corner. I stepped closer to him,

"Ok…but only because I know you wouldn't say something that hurtful on purpose. Or at least I don't think you would"

"Let me take you to dinner, after you finish here?"

"Jasper I can't afford to go for dinner. You have no idea about the state of my finances"

"I can hazard a guess ma'am. I was there that night remember?"

"How could I forget?" I sighed.

He smiled his cheeky grin again and I felt myself giving in, "Fine, dinner and that's it. Just because otherwise you'll keep pestering me until I say yes"

"You know me too well" he joked but then his face clouded over as if he'd realised what he'd just said. I felt shivers go up my spine and mentally reprimanded myself for getting this close to him. '_Remember Alice. Bad things always happen to people you care about_' I told myself but close to ignore it.

"Well I finish at five thirty"

"I'll come back then, go back to yours so you can get changed and then I've got just the place to take you" he told me and with a flirtatious wink and a smile he left the café.

'_You're stupid and you know it. How can you allow him to get this close to you when he's only going to get hurt? He'll learn too much and then what'll happen? The same thing that happened to everyone else no doubt, you should have stopped this stupid friendship before it had a chance to reach this point_' my brain screamed at me as I stood in my bathroom fixing my hair. Jasper was whistling to himself outside in the living room whilst he waited for me to be ready.

I hated it when I was in these sorts of moods because there were few things that would calm me back down, and only one that was a quick-fix solution. Fluffing up my hair I pulled a gruesome face as I picked up my razor and slid the blade out of the clasp. Fuck yes it hurt but in some sick, twisted and distorted way it brought me comfort and peace of mind, no matter how stupid it was.

* * *

Reviews please...I love them almost as much as a limited edition Gucci bag :)


End file.
